You know what's ticking me off today? Equilibrium.

Equilibrium sucks.

And NOT the scientific stuff that allows us to pee standing up and drink Slurpees lying down. That is all cool with me.

No. The equilibrium that sucks is the social kind that tirelessly regulates all joy, happiness and greasy foods for every person on earth. It is the kind that prevents all of mankind from one day deciding to stop all the bullshit, kick back and take it easy until death.

Rampant, unbridled goodness is an impossibility. For every event in life, good or bad, there is an equal and opposite counterpoint keeping things in check. For all the joy birth brings, there is the agony of death. For all the privilege of the rich, there is the destitution of the poor. For every winner, there is a loser.

And it's the fact that no good comes without its pound of flesh that so aggravates me. If you ever find yourself fortunate enough to receive a little goodness, you must understand that vultures are circling overhead. And those vultures are telling you that a giant shit sandwich is coming due and you, or some poor sap on your behalf, will have to take it down.

And try feeling good about yourself when someone is eating a giant shit sandwich just so you can enjoy your little seven minutes in heaven.

If you can you are one sick sociopath, my friend.

Now, I image the optimists and/or the blissfully ignorant out there have already started up with their "glass is half full" and "embrace life's little victories" self-help solutions.

Save it. I am not interested in that flavor of Kool-Aid.

The truth is the glass is both half-full AND half-empty. You can't have one without the other. And if you think you can just solve your problems by filling the glass completely, you need to ask yourself, "Where did that water come from?"

And then hope the sucker you took it from isn't as thirsty as you.

So what's the point? I guess there is no point, really. I’m just tired of grey. I'm tired of lovely ladies leaving lipstick on one cheek and burly dudes leaving brass knuckle imprints on the other.

I've got equilibrium pissing in my Cheerios on a daily basis.

And it ticks me off.